I'm terrorised about what I've in mind.

I'm just terrified. Constantly. Secretly.

I'm pretty disappointed but It's life.

Happy new year's eve without me.

Have a nice night. 

I just love you.

I'm a fool. 

Sorry.

.

... And now I feel insecure.

I just awaken from a dream. A fucking one month & an half pleasant dream as I never had before. I felt powerful, I felt alive, I felt happy but it's over for now. the feelings and the memories are not over of course but it's the end of a periode I guess. It's not the end literally and fortunately because if it is, it also mean that I'm dead, buried where i'm fallen...

I just need something I can't catch right now and it desapoint me to much anyway...

But I don't give a shit, january will give me a new life after the jump and at this time I could finally have what I miss, I could finally find myself...

A's an insensitive soldier of the selfish war
A's gonna puke out her ideas in your brain
A's the sickness beating you on the ground
A's a toy breaker kid. Kids love to play...

Don't eat anymore, don't sleep anymore, don't live anymore.

Try her philosophy
Cry for her philosophy
Try her philosophy
Die for her philosophy
And now you're good, everyone cry!

Go away! I'm ridiculous! Go away! I'm contagious! Go to die fucker!
And now you're good, everyone cry...

A's enjoying spiting on your face
A's enjoying her ugly thankless
A just care about her own face
A is strong as a violent sickness

Don't smile anymore, don't hope anymore, don't feel anymore.

Try her philosophy
Cry for her philosophy
Try her philosophy
Die for her philosophy
And now you're good, everyone cry!

Everyone die! ear me: every one die!
and now you're good every one die!
 
I spent my time waiting for her bomb 
I spend my time looking for her tomb
I wasted my time waiting for her bomb
I waste my time looking for her tomb

Go away!!

You can't kill me, I'm already dead
under her bomb, inside my tomb... 

I know that sometimes (in the street for exemple) people trust that I'm kinda disturbed or a weird person. I just can answer that yes maybe I'm a lil bit deranged on a plan or just different than them but it's a fact somedays I can also answer:

I enjoy listening obsolet bands for the radio sheeps :)

it's a fact I'm feeling awfull right now. Not because of a "cute lil' thing called love that I've lost blablablaaaaa" NO WAY, not at all. In reality I just don't know why. Maybe cause it's sunday night and I've all my weekend coming back full face... Maybe not just the weekend I guess but rather all this rubbish perdiode, a bad memory of what was my life this year.
At the beginning, on the paper it worked but concretly it was the most beatifull crash ever. Remember kids, you couldn't be sure of anything with someone before two months at least. You always can have "surprises" and fall from the highest...

But damn it, what the hell?! I think about someone (I won't call her "bitch" it's quite vulgar, called her "A" it's perfect) who played with me as a f****** toy, but not her sweet teddy bear. Someone who totaly don't care about what I can think, feel and want; someone who don't care about anyone and anything else of her. And, to be honest, I have difficulties to remember exactly her face now. More the time pass and less I can draw her face with details in my mind. I mean, it's like I wanted to protect something wich is over since a while and concretly if we look at the situation it is. We broke up so I have to stop to torture myself with someone who's kidding me all the time and who isn't the One simply...

Go to sleep boy it's time to get your brain off.

I hope you understand that I'm in those lyrics...

My friend (more a borther than a friend) Mitch a.k.a O****** from Sha.D.Eye and I are very glad to announce you right here that we're back in a new project that makes me already excited and proud. "3.4 ever" reborn from its own ashes with a new name, a new feeling, new wishes and of course new ideas.

"Perpetual Motion Soundtrack" is just starting right now so we don't realy know what will happen for us in the next weeks/months, how the band will be concretly.
Musically we start with the concept that we want our music to be a sound for trips/journeys but it's a fact that we need to play rock and metal stuff. But rock with feelings within, something loud and heavy with emotions, melodies, something wich look like us. Rock music made as an original soundtrack from a movie. I don't know if we'll still try to create a bridge between metal and electronica like trip hop but we'll probably do at least in a first time.

But for now we're just together with his guitare, voice, machines, our computers, my drum and a lot of inspiration. We'll lock us up in the studio to compose a few new material to have a work basis and look for other musicians. We realy need to have a bass player with us and maybe an another guitarist.
I think that a web page will be available soon but I'll check you here when it will be done. The most important for us now is to enjoy playing music together and to make the very firsts songs of "Perpetual Motion Soundtrack"... 

 

FYHYD, this short but beautiful chino's track is the perfect reflect of my mind about her. But it's not what it's about with this post...

We miss you Chi! Hope that you'll wake up one day...

Life is a spasm,
pain a substentic haze
and death is just a phase...

"Our existence flows continuously, we cannot go back in time; each moment is unique. The best way to live fully is to become aware of it. For this, we must look within ourselves and examine our mental attitude and understand the mechanism of our mind. It is by understanding this better than we can redefine it. Progressively, we trigger the motors pushing us to act a certain way as well as the means to modify our behaviour, to transform and improve it..." The dalai Lama.

This song is the perfect exemple to illustrate what I call electronic music. This artist seems to be so sensible. There are realistic emotions within and unfortunatelly it's so unusual in this kind of music... It remembers me songs like "petiatil cx htdui" by Aphex twin or a few other IDM mixes. But anyways this song is pretty unique and let an open pit instead of my belly!
 

A new beginning for this blog, not an issue but maybe it's time for it to become a real blog not a ghost lost on the internet as it is since its creation...

It's been a while that I wish I wrote concret things on this web space, my own piece of web. Maybe blogs are over for people and twitters so "in" but I don't care I'll continue to update mine...

The things are here, it appears that I'm kinda bipolar person for one thousand reasons so I decided to play with it starting to write somthing in english here and continue what I usually do elsewhere.
So let's have fun my friends...

Enjoy ;)

Summer night:

At winter's end,
it's time to feel alive.
Looking for an eternal sunshine
I see you right here,
like a brighting fire
hypnotic lights in the eyes.
Where did you come to be so blessed?!
I drew you with my eyes
I dressed you with my mind.
I feel you with my hands...

Bring me next to you please!
So far away from home.
I don't care where just far,
I don't fucking care! Bring me so far!!

things all around me are colourless,
I find it kinda funny,
I find it kinda sad...
Is this my sanity ?
Is it the reality that I faced ?!

I just want to be far to feel alive!
I don't care about anything
now that I saw you!
But I realised that was a dream
when I woke up...

Right from the things within
arise from the ashes behind
an angel swallowed my mind
now that I don't see you anymore
Go ahead & still smile
I've got to stay alive

So wait for me please
Wait for... Me...

SO wait for me please
Wait for... Me...

Dead trees are running
beyond the desillusion
but I'm right here
ever & ever
as a soul without a face,
as a picture in black & white.
No move, no race...
Let the pain right in the vein
and Rest In Peace...